Following me still

The image I'm about to paint,
may not be what you'd like to read,
but it's coming out now, all at once
With a clear head and a toxicated mind
I will tell you the darkest stories;
The darkest stories, my memory could find.

When you're ready, let's go, let's go

Here it comes:

I've been beaten, shouted at,
I've been called names and
my homes have been perpetual,
Yet somehow, I'm never there.
So this may cut off my air but,

Here it comes:

I've been punched in the face
by the fist of my mother
I've stolen the hearts of sisters
And wished to be loved by friends
with the love of a brother
And no matter what caught her off guard,
She heard me screaming that night:
It's all better than meeting the hands of my father!
So what ever I'm about to say, may torture me to death but,

Here it comes:

I've wished for my life to end,
and I've attempted to make a wish come true
I've beaten at walls for hours until my knuckles were blue
I've fallen so far, and still I'm up again,
what for? What for?
So these dreams may haunt me,
for the rest of all eternity
And with them I shall remain;
I shall remain for all eternity

And what I'm about to say may hurt like hell,
and believe me, it's the truth, well,

Here it comes:

I'm a happy individual, and I'm willing to help, where I can
And I believe I found my way back to life as
a student, a son, a jerk, a lover, an inspiration, a man.
But there's something I want you all to know:
I'm only happy seeing, there are others living the lives, I never will
Because my past, it follows me still.